Beware of the Roving Eye

roving eye

Ladies and gentlemen who are in relationships, pay attention to any uptick in your partner’s (and your own) attention to the opposite sex. A roving eye is the best indicator of a break up according to studies. It wasn’t how much love they felt, or level of satisfaction in the relationship, or how long they wanted the relationship to last. “I know I’m on diet but I can look at the menu” attitude is trouble. They have already made up their mind they desire something else.

(And taken literally, can there be a dumber way to stay on a diet? Yeah, I’m going to stare at delicious food.)

Sexy ads only work when the item is used for sexually related purposes (form fitting clothing, jeans, alcohol, makeup etc) and it only works on viewers who were looking for a partner. Current sexual goals determine how much attention are given to the hotties around you and in the media.

All backed by research.

Law of Attraction plus System Based Approach

Law of Attraction plus System Approach

system based
39 years old. I have hair, but I wear hats often because it’s easier than taking care of my hair.

I benched 405 on my 40th birthday. I had never done it before. But that was my goal for 40 when I turned 39. Although, when in shape in my late 20s and early 30s I’m sure I could have. I didn’t care about one or two reps back then. After determining where my bench had to be at certain points in time along the way to be able to hit 400 on time, I devised a system that used the law of attraction and daily activities. My system, basically, was eating the right nutrition and getting 7 – 8 hours sleep every day.  I had to go to the gym 5 days a week and do some kind of exercise every day off like maybe a hike or a long walk or even skip rope.  My habits were mindful meditation, specific visualizations, getting amino acids every two-three hours, and prepping my food for the next day. As long as I followed that system, I could have a snickers bar the next day. I was 90% successful to that goal. I wasn’t worried about the snickers bar as long as I had my daily nutrition. I wasn’t going for a swimsuit photo shoot. I occasionally went out for beer, but I was never drunk or hung over.  I followed a bench press program. Before I went to bed, I saw myself lifting 405 lbs. In the morning, I saw myself lifting the next benchmark. I even told myself, “350 is my next total, and 405 is my ultimate goal.” And well before I was able to bench it, I took 405 off the rack and with assistance from a spotter I would slowly move the bar down to my chest. I wanted my body to feel 405 pounds.

I quickly got to 315lbs X 6 and a 350 max from 275 X2.  (I’m 5’8.5.”) That’s where I should be when regularly working out but not trying to do anything special. I felt happy with 350. When I hit 350, I went out for some fun that evening. I can’t imagine holding off all satisfaction until I benched 405.

Unfortunately, five months in I hurt my back so bad it took me 30 minutes to get out of bed. I have had on and off back issues for a while. I spent the first two days mostly in bed. I focused on what was in front of me. My bench was 365 with seven months to go, but now I can’t train. I imagined getting the right solution to the obstacle. I believe when you are aligned with source, ‘obstacles’ are an opportunity to get better.  I saw a chiropractor, and there was some relief – but not always. I saw a doctor, and he gave me pain pills and told me to walk.

By “fluke” I came across MBT shoes. I was in a shoe store because the person I was walking with wanted to buy some shoes for her son. I never go to these places. I just go to Walmart or pick-up online from Amazon.  I was killing time looking at these weird looking round bottom shoes when the clerk approached me. The shoes were MBTs, and they were half-price which made them $140.  (I wouldn’t spend more than that on a non-dress shoe.) The clerk under-sold the shoe. She said they were designed specifically for walking and correcting your posture, but they didn’t sell that well, and they were moving them out. They had one left in size 10 (my size). I put them on and noticed I’m at least an inch taller. So I got them LOL. Within two weeks my back problems were completely gone, and I have not seen a chiropractor since. I’m 45. The MBT shoes were my “solution.”

My visualizations then focused on three 45 lb plates and one 35 pound plate aside (395). With a little over a month to my birthday, I had that lift at two reps with a minor assistance on the second rep. With twenty days to go, I was so close to 405. I needed some help to get it. I thought the spotter might have jumped in too quickly. I didn’t go to the gym until my birthday so my muscles would be fully rested. 

I visualized lifting four 45lb plates a side. [Weightlifting bars are either 45 or 50 lbs. I didn’t weigh it, so my lift could have been 410 lbs.)  I did 405 lbs completely on my own, on my birthday, at 8:15 pm; no belt or lifting shirt, and I got the second rep with some assistance from my best friend. My goal was one rep. To be honest, I’d be okay if I didn’t get 405 on my 40th. I knew I would have it very soon. From the beginning, I knew the system based approach would create progress. The biggest point here though was allowing myself to feel gratified after meeting my goals every day.

But, it was sweet to get it on my 40th birthday. I was in bed by 9 pm as happy as can be.[That Friday is when I celebrated my 40th with friends.]


System based
40 with the dark tan. A couple of months after the 405 bench. Leaning out. I looked better than I did ten years prior.







Truth about Brutal Truths

truth about brutal truths

Truth about Brutal Truths number one…
Nobody is actually too busy to respond to you.

Your boyfriend got the text. Don’t kid yourself. He just didn’t respond. Your buddy didn’t answer your call because he didn’t feel like it. Your potential client decided he didn’t feel like responding to your email. It’s not that he didn’t see it. The sooner you stop making excuses for the people who don’t make you a priority, the sooner you can move on to the people and situations that do.

Except, sometimes they are too busy. Or, maybe, you just need to mellow out a little; relax. Yes, in some cases it is best to move on. But, in other cases, especially casual ones, it may be better to roll with it. Some people will get back to you when they do— and it’s okay. You do you and let them be them. Those who get back to you quickly, you can reciprocate. And those who are more relaxed or seemingly indifferent? When the shoe is on the other foot, you deal with them exactly how you feel. Be genuine. Don’t delay simply because they do. Be you. And if you don’t feel like getting back to them immediately, don’t sweat it; they’re not.

Truth about Brutal Truths number two
Everyone has his or her best interests at heart.

No matter how genuine, kindhearted or caring a particular person is . . . .
Most people are going to take as much from you as you let them get away with – which means it’s up to you to define and uphold your boundaries.

Yes, boundaries are good. However, sometimes that other person’s best interest is you. Their actions are truly based on helping someone else and, perhaps, even then she may infringe upon your boundaries.  But with that understanding, you can be more sensitive when you “stick up for yourself.” Do you really want to say something that could end a friendship because you’re annoyed at the moment?

Truth about Brutal Truths number three…
You will never please everybody.
There will always be someone who’s offended. You’re going to be criticized no matter what you do, so you might as well do what you love. Because if there’s anyone whose judgment you should listen to, it’s your own.

However, humility is also important and sometimes a little humility can save you a lot of hurt down the road. The art is to find the balance in being true to yourself and being kind to others. Plus, never be too proud to take some advice no matter where it is from.

Truth about Brutal Truths number four
Your actions define you, not your thoughts.

You can sit indoors all day conceptualizing a better world, but until you get out there and start implementing change, you’re not actually making a difference.

This is good advice. With that acknowledgment, I should point out thoughts, of course, matter. Your thoughts and feelings are the cause of your actions and your thoughts and feelings can sustain good work or derail it.

Figure out Whose Acceptance You Want


If you try to be accepted by everyone you will stand out to no one. You do not want that kind of acceptance. You will try to blend in so much that you become invisible. Pick your people so you can stand out to them without worrying what others think. The best people to choose are the ones drawn to your natural personality especially when you are telling a funny story, speaking passionately on a subject, goofing off, and even just being chill in your own way. Behave in a way that is fun and amusing to you. Treat others well. See who likes what you are doing. Those are your kind of people.

This kind of acceptance allows you to flourish as the real you.

Aim to brighten up the lives of others. It doesn’t always have to be about laughs or attention directed your way. If you can make people feel good and laugh you are freer than most people will ever experience. You are free to choose who you want to be with and will have more opportunities because so many people value feeling good that they will look past whatever it was they thought they wanted more.

Your Purpose(s) in Life

Watch your life for a week as though you don’t know who you are (chances are you don’t anyway.) You’ll notice sometimes you feel resentful, and that is usually because you put up a false front of being nice only because you were improperly thinking not standing your ground is the right thing to do. And so someone took advantage of you and later you’re upset. (That’s your fault.) Sometimes you’re bored because you are either undisciplined or not excited about what you are pursuing. These times really stand out. However, when you’re engaged in life, you won’t know notice you’re there because the separation between subject and object disappears when what you are doing is meaningful. Some call it flow, and you want to stay there forever. Time seemingly doesn’t exist. The suffering inherent in life becomes acceptable because you have this rendezvous with heaven. If there is something that allows you to leave behind bitterness, cruelty, or resentment, then there is probably nothing more valuable than doing that. That is your purpose.

Another is giving to others as we age. Humans have survived through collaboration in addition to the competition. Early in life, we tend to be a bit more self-centered. That’s the competition. As we age and especially if we are a little better set up, we feel good about giving. Our mirror gene creates the feeling of empathy. As we age, we get feeble and to remain in the good graces with our tribe who we depend on more and more as time goes by, we give.  Life expectancy for thousands of years was within the boundaries the ability to have kids. The better givers spread more of their genes because they probably lived longer thanks to the tribe. To be selfish as you get older is counter-evolutionary. You feel better giving.

The Inner Work and Preparation

Inner Work

With the law of attraction, too often, physical action is de-emphasized or even dismissed. That is a misinterpretation due to the marketing around Law of Attraction. Movement and supportive action make it easier to keep a positive focus and build momentum. Inner work is mandatory. A smart, inspired action plan speeds up results. Too much inaction gives doubt a chance to sabotage results. Taking inspired action can be enjoyable. It keeps you occupied on positive things. Call it passion.

It would be wise to use what strategies research has proven to be efficient and at the same time have faith in the law of attraction. You see, science is not everything. Science works within the boundaries of a perceivable cause and an observable effect. That is perfectly fine for the most part. However, sometimes the true cause of a visible effect originated beyond what we can currently observe. That is where the law of attraction may come into play. So, have faith in the law of attraction for that is its strength. Use evidence-based strategies when appropriate. And even when things are going great – DON’T STOP the inner work! Time is our most valuable commodity so don’t wait for things to be perfect. Make them perfect through inspired action.

Proper inner work includes grounding yourself (creates a sense of belonging and contribution), getting your thoughts right around your set intention (that’s the magic).  Outer work is taking action in the right direction (movement and momentum go hand in hand). Inspired action is a catalyst. When your thoughts are right, you will look forward to taking action that supports attracting your desire. Detaching from the outcome while staying present in the supportive actions of achieving your goal keeps the flow going. Developing a positive, upbeat outlook and envisioning success, regardless of circumstance, strengthens your ability to create the things you want in life. It’s perfectly reasonable to maintain a positive outlook while accepting things aren’t always going to go our way. That is not the same as assuming bad things will happen. That is understanding there may be the odd bump in the road but we can handle it if it happens. That way you remain confident if something “negative” occurs. With that said, envision a smooth a path.

DO NOT FEAR FAILURE AND DO NOT BLOCK OUT NEGATIVITY. Learning from failure is a huge part of success. Failure often provides glaring reasons, which is fantastic. Examining the negative things in life have value precisely because bad things do happen, and assuming they won’t is a recipe for disaster. We certainly would rather have our skydiving instructor be realistic and pack an extra chute on the basis that something could go wrong. But accepting the possibility of a failed parachute is not the same as assuming it will – and this is a big difference. Properly preparing for failure helps you relax and then you can let it go and get back to focusing on success.


Law of Attraction and Mood

law of attraction weight loss

The Law of Attraction primes the importance of focusing on the desire. I use the wish to set your strategy, and with the exception of visualization, your focus will be present-centered on everyday actions and processes. By doing so, you will successfully detach from the angst of whether you will be successful (Law of Allowing). Routine activities become the habits that create success. You will be in a winning rhythm. Everything will fall into place. You will be happy and confident from your daily processes and scheduled activities. When these positive processes and activities become a habit, it no longer requires will power. It becomes a part of who you are. It will soon be a given that you have what it takes and the rest is just follow through (Law of Sufficiency).

Appreciate the importance of a good mood. It makes you a better creator because your vibration is better. Happy people tend to attract happy people and light situations. And, it goes beyond personality. You are a molecular structure in a very high-speed of vibration. If you’re in a vibration, it means you’re on frequency. If you’re on frequency, you are attracting things to you based on that wave. Misery loves company. If you are miserable, you attract unhappy people into your life. If you feel empowered, you are uncomfortable in the presence of grumps and those who are weak. It is because your frequencies do not mesh. Sometimes, if you let it, your mood will lower as a result of those around you. It ‘s nice to learn how to manage your mood.

Try to surround yourself with the right people. Energy sensitive people need to surround themselves with individuals who support who they are. Otherwise, they will carry the load all on their own. Some ‘friends’ tend to deride, and others wholly accept and support.

What you are thinking you are creating. Negative thought patterns happen. You don’t have to resist or deny them. Attempting to may make things worse. Rather, you learn how to disengage them and let them pass through. Take what educates you and let it go too. Engage the positive thoughts. Rejecting useless negative thoughts is easier than it sounds once you know how.

With that said, anger is not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes negative thoughts are useful. They illuminate contrast and serve as a wake-up call. It can be the most arousing and therapeutic emotion under certain circumstances. If anger lights a fire under your ass and generates a more passionate response to conditions that you may have caused you to cower otherwise, then anger can quite literally begin a new life of freedom. Anger is saying. “I do not accept this. I will fight!” It’s powerful, and like with fire, you need to respects its power. Keep it focused and don’t let it spill into other areas. Letting others know they have transgressed is better than pretending it didn’t happen and can prevent violence. However, anger can also have you pounding your head against a brick wall thinking you can run through it. The art is to understand when to use it wisely and when to let it go.  You want to use it rather than it uses you. Learning how to disengage and see circumstances from that 30,000 ft perspective helps you decide if you wish to act on that anger or let it go.

It is also a good idea to include activities that add to your overall happiness and that energize you. This energy will be transferable to other areas of your life. I like to debate or discuss politics. Well, I must be putting out that vibe because It happens almost everytime I go out to the local watering hole. I often run into two or three people who are happy to oblige. It is simple and stimulating, so I make sure I do it often. It has kinda turned into a regular Tuesday thing. If I can make some people laugh from an impersonation — even better. I make sure I stick to a certain amount of time and a limited number of drinks (like, say,  two beers and two non-alcoholic large ice teas). In this case, that is key, so I do not take away from my next day. It is a perfect way to add to my overall happiness. I will do energy-boosting activities no matter what – even if it seems selfish. Because, when I do these things for myself I have more to offer myself and others the rest of the time. Working out with weights also energizes me, and I never do weights until I got nothing left. I do them and leave while I still feel great from the pump (which will make sure I show up the next day). If I can barely get out of bed the next day because I’m too stiff, then that will take away from my time. It is true that there can be “too much of a good thing.” See, I am not just talking about things I like to do. I am speaking about things that give me a mental and emotional energy boost. That helps with your mood and your creative juice. Maybe for you, that is yoga or a dance class; swimming, Judo, hiking, or Tai Chi. When we put together a plan to achieve what it is that you want, we keep it simple, regular and include some things that provide a stimulating joy. Maybe what you want is nothing specific, and you just want to generally feel happier and experience greater vitality then no problem. Soon you will be doing this on your own. With greater understanding, some of the stuff, you’ll be making it up as you go along. Keep it fun. If this resonates with you, then I’m your guy. Click here to contact me. 

Question: Have you ever purposely used the law of attraction? What were the results?

law of attraction

Ignore the logical empiricists. I’m sure you are already aware of their nay-saying on this matter. Let me handle that here and now. Religion is humanity’s way of explaining hope without in-your-face support, cause and effect. Is scientific work the only road that could lead humanity to direct knowledge? Science can’t investigate its limits because the human scientific process requires proof from evidence inside the limits. The scientific process has always required an effect within perception – this is fine – but mistakenly assumes the cause and explanation ALSO have to be entirely within the limitations. Beyond the limits of what science can currently perceive lies something unseen from the human side. Without instrumentation, we can not apply the scientific method. We need to intuit or feel our way through this frontier outside of the scientific study. What has experience taught others before us?

Okay, so to answer your question….

Yes, even before I knew the term. For example, when I was younger, in my early 20s, I decided I wanted a change. What I wanted was to make five grand a month, have more free-time, and date a lot of babes. I think there were two other items, but I wanted, but I can’t remember. I had read a book on manifesting and so I used something called a “magic circle” or the “psychic circle.” I wrote these items into the circle. I remember there could only be five. I would hen visualize these things happening in my life ever night before bed. I had no idea if it would work. I just hoped it would. I then moved out of my place and accidentally left the journal I drew the circle in behind.

I need to explain that this was a time that I roomed with friends and when I left another friend took my spot in the old place. I forgot about the journal. My jerk-off friend read my damn journal. By the time he told me he had my journal, I had already had this straight commission telemarketing gig that I had happened to be really good at. Because it was the straight commission, I could set my hours. Because I was good, I started closing other people’s sales which meant I had more free time because I didn’t have to cold call anymore. So, how I made this work was that I had the openers build me up and I would tell them when to make the appointment for the call. Sometimes, I made the call while I was out socializing. I just excused myself and found a spot where I could make the call. I quickly cleared 5Gs, and I hit the gym almost every morning, and by virtue of simply out and about a lot, I met a lot of girls. I wasn’t making drug dealer money, but I didn’t have to look over my shoulder either. I just had to put in a few hours a day.

Now that I think about it I should have included making a plan for down the road.

So, anyway, my jerk buddy who read my journal told me that almost everything I wrote in that circle happened. (I’m still friends with the guy).

Question: Why isn’t the law of attraction working for me?

law of attraction

I often use evidenced-based methodology along with the Law of Attraction which usually involves taking some kind of purposeful action. The more material you give the universe to work with the more the universe has to create with on the material plane. This would be easier to answer with the details of what you are trying to accomplish.

Is what you are trying to manifest plausible? Do you believe it can happen? If not, then we’re done.

Have you thought this through? What are you willing to pay to accomplish this desire? Have you put together an action plan and divided it into smaller goals? This depends on what you are trying to manifest. Get your thoughts and feeling right first. Let that inspire a plan and inspire your first actions. This plan can be your first manifestation on the path to the end goal. Getting yourself aligned will allow the creative flow of the universe to work with you as you create the plan. (I’m providing a generic answer so I hope this makes sense and is applicable with what you are trying to do.)

The universe is always responding to your focus, feelings, and vibrations, so be sure to get that in order. Doubt and fear will attract what you fear and doubt. You want to be sending a signal for what you want for more often than what you don’t want. The strongest signal that can be sent is to imagine the desire as though it were in your life now and it is very important to feel those emotions. Feel that it is real.

When doubt creeps in, ask yourself three questions: What do you want? Why do you want it? And, how would it feel? That will bring your focus to where it needs to be and thus shift your vibration back to attracting your desire.


Procrastination is like a credit card: it’s a lot of fun until you get the bill.

Christopher Parker

Research from a British peer-to-peer lending platform, RateSetter….

  • Brits spend 218 minutes procrastinating per day (which adds up to a hefty 55 days a year).
  • Typically there is too much television, aimless internet surfing, and meandering social media usage.
  • A quarter of Britons (24%) are said to specifically procrastinate over their personal finances, despite 17% believing they would be in a better financial position if they stopped and two in five (41%) thinking they would have fewer worries about the future.
  • People procrastinate for an average of 43 minutes during their working day which equates to £76 billion lost to British businesses each year.

Procrastination is timeless problematic behavior. Greek philosophers developed a word to describe the distractions of daily life, “Akrasia.” The state of mind in which someone acts against their better judgment through a weakness of will.  Our immediate self is motivated toward behaviors that provide quick emotional payoffs and thus ignores the plan the higher self is holding for them. To put it plainly, people “procrastinate from doing things that they ought to do because it automatically feels like something they don’t want to do,” says Nina Grunfeld, a self-help guru.

Your mind has a habit of coming up with many excuses to get you to put things off for now because of the tendency to value immediate reward over future rewards. This is called “time inconsistency” in behavioral economic terms. Our plans to achieve goals are things our brain places in the future. When we first think of them, we may be inspired but when we arrive at the time to implement plans we still think of them as future gratification, and we fall back into our preference for what gratifies us now. Giving the actions we wish to take for future gratification a time to enact them, takes them out of future thinking and gives them a time and place in our present thinking. It is called the “If…Then” technique. Instead of saying I will take better care of myself by going to bed earlier and exercising early every morning you can plan it this way….

  • If it is 9:30 then I brush & floss, simple yoga, get into my PJs.
  • If it is 10 pm then I set my alarm for 5:30 am and go to bed.
  • If it is 5:30 am then I meditate for 10 minutes, visualize for 10.
  • If it is 6 am then I get into my gym clothes, have a cup of coffee & 2 cups of water.
  • If it is 6:30 am then I am entering the gym and starting my working out.
  • If it is 7:15 then I jump into the shower and change into my work clothes.
  • If it is 7:30 then I have a large protein fruit smoothie and drive to work.
  • If it is 10 am then I have a liter of water.

The If…Then strategy ups productivity by 200 – 300%.

The ability to delay gratification has been linked to higher SAT scores, lower levels of substance abuse, lower likelihood of obesity, better responses to stress, better social skills, and other life skills. Studies at Stanford University provide evidence the ability to delay gratification may be the strongest indicator of future success.